Day 24: What Attracts You (In LOVE)
Author’s Note: For the purposes of this blog, I will refer to my boyfriend from this point forward as “Joker.” This is because he is always quick with a joke, no matter what the occasion. His preference was that I call him Don Juan, but when I nixed that he said “What, you Don Juan to call me that?” *affectionately rolls eyes*
So I almost didn’t get to do this entry today. The thing is, we were supposed to go see one of our friends for his birthday tonight. I’ve been off work for a few days and spent last night at my boyfriend’s house. As I was bringing my dogs down to the basement to crate them, I forgot that the last step of his staircase is in fact a platform. So thinking I was already on the ground, I continued to walk (a critical error on my part). I fell forward, landing on the outside of my ankle with a large CRACK. So off to the Emergency Department we went. Luckily for me, it’s just a sprain and with a few days of TLC I should be back in action in no time.
The reason I’m sharing this, is because today’s entry is supposed to be about what I find attractive in love. As I lay at the bottom of the staircase screaming, Joker, who was right behind me was just as upset! “Oh My God!!! Honey are you okay?” He immediately helped me roll over, calmed me down and helped me up the stairs… This is a far cry from my ex who called me “a lazy bitch” when my asthma was so bad I couldn’t walk 20 feet without getting winded and was nearly hospitalized for such. He even drove me to the local Emergency Department and showed me funny pictures to take my mind of the pain.
So what attracts me in love? Someone who is kind, empathetic and truly cares for me. Joker is caring. If I am down he cheers me up, if I am ill he brings me soup. If I need some time alone, he lets me be. He is so kind and caring and I love that about him. He is so extroverted, but he has taken the time to learn more about introverts and understand what I need to feel loved and supported.
A sense of humor is always good. Joker is always there with a joke, a quip or a funny picture or meme for me. He’s rather famous among his circles for being the joke guy. It’s so funny though a few weeks back I was talking to his niece who is six. Joker was in the next room and everyone was laughing. Sighing in only the dramatic way a six year old can, she bemoaned. “Is he telling bad jokes again? Some of his jokes are just Not. Funny.”
Intelligence is also key. I like a man who can keep up with me intellectually, who doesn’t get intimidated by my extensive vocabulary. Not to say that I have every been judgmental towards any other person who may not have had the same type of education I was blessed to have. I do however, enjoy talking about a variety of educational topics and someone like minded will probably not be bored!
I also like someone who is independent. This time when I was choosing a relationship, I sought someone who had lived on his own. Who had a career that they were passionate about. Joker has a great career and has been working on some really great stuff in his field. I don’t understand a third about what he tells me about it, but that’s okay.
Finally, what attracts me is someone who will challenge me. Joker is about as extroverted as I am introverted. He challenges me to meet new people and try new things. He never pushes though and is understanding to my anxieties. He’s never pushy or forceful and he checks in to make sure I’m doing okay. He also has introduced me to fast cars and has taken me for drives. He never goes excessively fast or is unsafe though, always making sure that I am comfortable and never taking advantage of my trust.
Prior to my marriage, I had two other relationships. One was a high school thing, barely two months, the other just shy of a year. Neither ended well as both were overbearing and demanding and I got out. Not with out being stalked, or having them threaten suicide though. Things will my ex started out differently, but soon I realized that I had again picked the same “type.”
I am in now the first stable and healthy relationship I have ever been in and I am eternally grateful for that. Time can only tell where it will take us, but for now I’ll just enjoy having him by my side and appreciate all the attractive things I find about him.