Failure

I’ve been really struggling recently with a recurrent thought that I am a failure.

I see my shortcomings everywhere.  From the overgrown lawn, to the dishes I have yet to put away, to the washing machine of laundry that I am washing for the third time, to that important work document that I thought I finished but did not.  This is see as just all the little ways in which, my proverbial “shit” is not together and that I somehow have failed at life.

It’s funny because as I type this today, I can hear Inigo Montoya’s voice.  “You keep using that word.  I do not think it means what you think it means.”

 

So I got curious, what is the actual definition of the word Failure.  Enter Monsieur Google:

 

fail·ure
ˈfālyər/
noun
noun: failure
  1. lack of success.

Well that does not clear things up.  Now to understand if I have truly failed, I need to understand what it really means to succeed.

suc·cess
səkˈses/
noun
noun: success; plural noun: successes
  1. the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.
    • the attainment of popularity or profit.
    • a person or thing that achieves desired attaining prosperity

Inigo was right.  I keep using the word failure to describe myself, and it turns out that failure doesn’t mean what I think it means.

I am not a failure if my house is not perfectly kept, if the weeds grow so high you cannot see my front door, or if I forget to finish a thought at work.   I am not a failure because I have accomplished a great number of things.

  1. I graduated in the top 5 from high school.
  2. I completed my physical therapy degree.
  3. I moved into a leadership role in my career before 30.
  4. I extrapolated myself from a bad marriage.
  5. I maintain my own home.
  6. I pay my bills each month (sometimes even on time ;))
  7. I have and continue to grow a group of loving friends and family to surround me.
  8. I give my puppy dogs the most love and care that I can.
  9. I created this blog, and I continue to make time for writing a priority (and I WILL be published… Someday…)

So, maybe I’m not a failure.

I am a work in progress.

~Lenora

 

 

 

 

 

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