I’ve been really struggling recently with a recurrent thought that I am a failure.
I see my shortcomings everywhere. From the overgrown lawn, to the dishes I have yet to put away, to the washing machine of laundry that I am washing for the third time, to that important work document that I thought I finished but did not. This is see as just all the little ways in which, my proverbial “shit” is not together and that I somehow have failed at life.
It’s funny because as I type this today, I can hear Inigo Montoya’s voice. “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
So I got curious, what is the actual definition of the word Failure. Enter Monsieur Google:
- lack of success.
Well that does not clear things up. Now to understand if I have truly failed, I need to understand what it really means to succeed.
suc·cesssəkˈses/nounnoun: success; plural noun: successes
- the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.
- the attainment of popularity or profit.
- a person or thing that achieves desired attaining prosperity
Inigo was right. I keep using the word failure to describe myself, and it turns out that failure doesn’t mean what I think it means.
I am not a failure if my house is not perfectly kept, if the weeds grow so high you cannot see my front door, or if I forget to finish a thought at work. I am not a failure because I have accomplished a great number of things.
- I graduated in the top 5 from high school.
- I completed my physical therapy degree.
- I moved into a leadership role in my career before 30.
- I extrapolated myself from a bad marriage.
- I maintain my own home.
- I pay my bills each month (sometimes even on time ;))
- I have and continue to grow a group of loving friends and family to surround me.
- I give my puppy dogs the most love and care that I can.
- I created this blog, and I continue to make time for writing a priority (and I WILL be published… Someday…)
So, maybe I’m not a failure.
I am a work in progress.