Letting In and Letting Go

Up until this point, Joker and I have kept separate houses.  He has the Fun House, and I have the Phoenix Nest.  Our respective homes are about one hour from each other.  After many discussions and some number crunching, we decided it was time for two households to become one.  Joker officially moved in this week, which is why I have been a little bit missing in action.

Saying that it has been a mite hectic is an understatement.  By combining our households we now have a total of 11 pets, 5 dogs, 3 geckos, 2 snakes and a blue tongue skink.  We are establishing routines for the animals.  Everyone is settling in well, even Joker.

I too am adjusting to my newly full house.  I have had the Phoenix Nest to myself for two years .  After years of living in places where large portions of the home were off limits to me, I have relished living in a home that is 100% my own.  I have put a lot of sweat into peeling wallpaper, painting it and decorating over the years.  Organizing and cleaning and maintaining a cozy and clean home.  I am also well into my 30’s now and becoming set in my ways.

With any moving process it’s easy for a home to get completely turned on it’s head.  Luckily, as a planner I have had a lot of discussions with Joker about how this would work. So we had a general sense of where and how things were going to go.  Joker for his part, has put a lot of effort into unpacking and organizing.

What once was my guest bedroom will now be his office.  My guest room is now in what used to be my office.  Furniture has been moved from place to place.  Some has been eliminated, and new pieces have been integrated from Joker’s home.  There are boxes of decorations, displaced office supplies, etc.  I think there is a kitchen counter still, but it is overflowing in kitchen items that need to be fit into already filled cabinets.

I have to appreciate the fact that Joker is sensitive to my anxieties about the process.  I have to let go of how things have always been to be able to let him in.  Both physically and mentally.  I need to trust that we can have a partnership.  I need to allow that as difficult as it is for me to let go of having an entire house to myself so too, he must let go of having his entire home to himself.  There must be some give and take in this situation.  We need to give ourselves time to process and to adjust.  I need to allow that not everything will be moved and settled overnight.  That the dogs will settle in and learn the routine, and with the multitude of heat lamps that the reptiles need, the electric bill will go up.

Despite my ups and downs with emotions over this big change, there is a sense of peace in not having to pack up three dogs and drive an hour to his home every Friday after a long work week.  About coming home and having someone greet you.  About having a partner to help wash the dishes, and take out the trash.  About having a boyfriend who is actually a partner and a teammate through all of life’s challenges.

And that…. That is what makes all the crazy worth it.


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