Embracing the Silence

It’s a truth universally acknowledge among those who know me.  When I am not comfortable in a situation or place I may be a little reserved, but in general, I LOVE to talk.  It’s usually getting me to shut up that’s the issue.  Even when I am home alone, as I am tonight, there are usually extensive conversations that I have with the dogs, or on the phone, or you know, just in general.

Tonight however, there is SILENCE.

I am in the midst of an asthma flare at the moment.  Which basically means that my chest has been continually tight, making it difficult to breath.  I get winded very easily.  At the peak of the flare, I could get winded in the 20 foot walk from my bedroom to the kitchen.  This is decidedly difficult for someone who is eternally working at Mach speed.  When I try to push it, I start to cough because the air just can’t get through.   Even simply resting the air trying to push through a small inflamed opening can trigger coughing, which triggers more inflammation and the cycle goes on.  (If anyone is worried, I have been to the Dr. and am on all the appropriate medications!)

Between the inflammation and just straight up pain in my throat, it rather hurts to talk.  I also sound like a mouse.  So, the past few days, I have definitely been limiting the verbiage I say out loud, and I have been reminded of something.

When you can’t speak, you are forced to listen.

On my ride to work, I listened to the radio.  Rather than sing along, I heard the words to each song.  I listened to the complexity of the melodies and the different parts of the music.  I actually paid attention to the weather report, and for once wasn’t shocked when white stuff fell from the sky.

In my pool session today, I could hear the lapping of the water to the side of the pool.  I could hear the hum of the pool as the current turned on.  I do talk a lot with my patients, but today I mostly listened, offering fewer of my own stories.  Taking some time to show pictures of my puppies, and allowing the pictures to speak for me.

Tonight, in a rare occurrence I am home alone.  I hear the tick, tick, tick of the clock.  I hear my dogs, moving from room to room going in and out.  Talking to me in their own little language of barks and sighs.  I hear them lapping up water from their bowl, then the click clack of the dog door as they go out to pee.  I hear the computer’s mechanical hum, and the reptile tanks turn on and off.  I hear the sounds of the furnace firing, and the water travelling down the pipes to heat the house.

Silence Quote

Sometimes, silence can be deafening, crushing and smothering.  Today it is cheerful.  A reminder of all the good that surrounds me and I am at peace.








One thought on “Embracing the Silence

  1. Pingback: Avoiding the Plague – Phoenix Rising

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